I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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