I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My breasts were aching with rage.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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