Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My pussy is not your playground.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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