he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
