I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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