Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize