Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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