I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i black out too much to be "responsible"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
