Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
