GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
