I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hippo gnu deer
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
