hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you never un-have a 4some
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
