you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I stole a fireplace last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
