I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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