I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
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