He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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