Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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