you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
