I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
