carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
