I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
