i don't like sucking hair
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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