The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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