Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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