I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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