Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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