well I can't set my house on fire every night
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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