only if we run a train.
done.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
