you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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