I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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