I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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