is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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