omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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