He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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