That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
