go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
soo... how was my night?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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