why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
