marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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