spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
