While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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