I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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