operation have a gay friend backfired
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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