the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
