I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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