Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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