i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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