My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
