Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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