the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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