I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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