i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize