You're so nebulous sometimes
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
