I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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