I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
third nipple confirmed
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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