This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize