sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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