Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the day after is always just damage control
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
