do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
