You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
