Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
