A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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