I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
