What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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