Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
