I didn't shave. On purpose
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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