Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

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(813): View more from Florida

yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

i always knew you were classy

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(352): View more from Florida

I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia

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(561): View more from Florida

Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.

(1-561): View more from Florida

How high are you?

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(713): View more from Texas

I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.

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