grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
